Sabbatical...one year later...

Next week, it will be one year since the Skor Family finished up our Sabbatical time away. My good friend is currently finishing up his much needed Sabbatical time as well.

Those two connected thoughts have caused me to ask myself, now one year removed, what the Holy Spirit has taught me through our Sabbatical experience, which is now viewed through the lens of a year "back in the saddle."

So here are 10 "learnings", worth something to me, but probably not much to you:

1. Health and Faithfulness are far more important to me that whether I'm perceived as successful ~ Life and circumstances may never allow us to be "healthy" in this sin-filled world, but I can still make right choices to be as healthy (spiritually, physically, emotionally) and as faithful to my God, as possible. I've watched far too many who are addicted, dysfunctional and driven by wrong things burn out and crash. As far as it depends on me, I do not want that.
2. Listening is far more important that Speaking ~ Whether it's in a conversation with people around me or in my relationship with God, this is just simply True.
3. Investing in Relationships is far more important than, well, most anything else.
4. If I cannot disconnect my esteem from "what I do," my heart is in danger ~ I am in danger when I allow myself to be influenced by those who are caught in this dysfunction as well and may need to remove myself, for a time, from that relationship.
5. If I cannot give up my need to be needed, or involved, my heart is in danger ~ I'm also convinced that this is, if not sin, bordering on it.
6. My worth, purpose and affirmation come from my relationship with my God.
7. I am called to lead, and I am gifted accordingly ~ regardless of what some who have selfish interests may have tried to say to me.
8. I choose to believe in people and speak into their lives rather than criticize them and leave them in my wake.
9. The Church is about to undergo a major reformation and paradigm shift in order to reach our current culture ~ I am called to be part of that change.
10. God has broken my heart more than ever before for people who don't know what it means to have a relationship with Jesus my friend, savior and leader.

When I'm Empty

Ever wake up in the morning feeling like your gauge is on empty? I'll be the first to raise my hand. I do.

The more I read and study God's Words for us, the more convinced I am that one of the primary ways we refill our tanks is to gather with "the body of Christ" (those people who have chosen to follow Jesus as their forgiver and leader for life).

Yes, solitude time is vital.

Daily time in prayer and digesting the Bible is irreplaceable.

But...there is something that happens when we gather together...

When we worship in song together...

When we explore God's Words together...

When we, yes, serve, together...

It is one of the primary ways that my heart is refilled, rebuilt, reformed, renewed, reshaped, redirected and redeemed.

Listen to just one, of many, teachings on this from the Bible: In Him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his spirit. (Eph. 2:21-22)

The challenge is, the natural direction for most of us, when we are experiencing emptiness, is to stay away. 

We isolate ourselves. 

We think, "I need to feel something more in order to engage with other people who follow Jesus." 

We think, "I can't serve if my tanks are empty. I'll flame out. I'm not good enough."

That is precisely the time when we should press into God's Truth and engage more deeply.

That is the time when worship is most needed for the survival of our souls.

I can't neglect getting together with followers of Jesus each week.

My soul won't survive without it.

Eugene Peterson

A few of my friends, whom I respect deeply, have been following the writings of Eugene Peterson lately and shared some of his thoughts that have affected them. Here are a few that are tumbling around in my brain these days:

"People are uncomfortable with mystery(God) and mess(self) – so they hire a pastor and start a program to deal with these."

Pastors should never brag about their busyness – it is the disqualifying factor to the role of pastor." 

"Busyness is a sign of insecurity or laziness." 

"Discipleship is a decision to live by what I know about God, not by what I feel about Him or myself or my neighbors."

I wonder

The boys and I are excited to have their mom, my bride come home today.

I wonder if these are some of the feelings Jesus has when He thinks of the day we get to come home?

Dork with a capital D

So...today I reinforced two things I've been aware of for quite some time.

1. I really hate talking on the phone.

2. I should never try to do two things at once; especially when one of them is talking on the phone.

Here's the story...I needed to make a quick call today. In the list of things to do this one should be pretty simple. I call, get the answering machine and start in with my message. At the exact same time something happened to set Ian off. He started crying and all mayhem broke out in the family room. Without realizing it, my brain floated off to the issue at hand while my mouth was still jabbering away. Note to self, don't talk without thinking about what you're saying, especially when what you're saying is being recorded. I got to the end of my message and instead of saying "goodbye" I heard myself say "in Jesus' name, Amen." Can I play the spiritual card by pointing out that it's more automatic for me to end a conversation with "Amen" than "Goodbye?" 

Psalm 20

Early in the morning this week, the Holy Spirit led me to Psalm 20 as a promise for me and for my family. As I read it again later this week, the first sentence captured me:

"May the Lord answer you when you are in distress, may the name of the God of Jacob protect you."

This led me to go back to some of my old school personal study and remind myself of some of the names of God in Scripture:

• Jehovah-Jireh (the Lord will provide)
• Jehovah-Nissi (the Lord my banner)
• Jehovah-Shalom (the Lord send peace)
• Jehovah-Shammah (The Lord is there)
• Jehovah-Tsidkenu (The Lord our righteousness)

The name that Jacob refers to in Genesis is El-Shaddai which means "all-sufficient" One.

The Routine wears thin...

As much as we may enjoy routine around our house, we're only 4 days into it and all of us are dragging ourselves out of bed in the morning saying, "Again? When is the weekend coming?!"

January always seems to be this way. It takes a while to get back in the habits and we have to force ourselves to get up in the morning and do it all again, and again, and again, and again... ;-)

Back to the Routine, and yet...

Today marks for the Skor family the first official day, after a fashion, of getting back to the routine of life after the Holidays. I know, last week was the first week of school, etc. but there were a few anomalies that made it more of a warm up than the actual routine for us.

Brendon and I are alike in that we have a love/hate relationship with routine. We both do better in routine, but we get bored with it easily and have to change it up. When we change it up, it throws our little world into chaos for a while until we find the routine again. We get more done with routine. We, ironically, find more joy and fulfillment in routine because we know what to expect and therefore, we choose to have better attitudes.

I look forward to the routine of 2009 mainly because God is hard at work in the deep recesses of the Skor family. He is breaking our hearts for people around us and stretching the boundaries of our comfortable faith again.

He has placed several families in our lives who, quite honestly, are going to mess with the routine. People who, evidently, see something in our little family that intrigues them. 

Kiley is greeted with hugs by moms at the school whose lives are so perpendicular to ours that there is no parallel perspective at all. We are finding ourselves in homes eating unfamiliar foods (which, if you know me, is a real stretch for this boy) having conversations about life, parenting, and more that stretch our thinking processes to the max. More than once, we'll have to have another conversation on the way home in the van with the boys saying something like, "I know that other families use those words, but our family is going to choose not to use those words because God wants us to live differently. But we love our friends don't we?"

The irony is that the very thing that we felt we have been "called" here to do (to help pastor a church) is often the greatest barrier to doing what God seems to have in store for us... reaching people He loves.

We look forward to the routine of 2009 and all the messiness it brings. :-)

Holy Spirit Lessons

I try to spend the some time at the beginning of each year reflecting on what the Holy Spirit taught me (or, in most cases, tried to teach me) over the previous year. 2008 was a year when He seemed to teach me many lessons...or, perhaps, I just needed to learn a lot. 

Here are some of the lessons that have made the deepest marks on me. I don't claim to have learned them, only that He is teaching them to me. I pray I learn them and He may transform me.

• Criticism and Condescension ~ One of the things that has marked the lives of those whom I have followed who know Christ well is that they seldom fall into the trap of placing people into categories, talking about their weaknesses, thinking less of people, arrogance, pride, and so on. He has challenged me to be an encourager first and foremost. He has challenged me to speak Truth TOO people, but when I am talking ABOUT them, to speak positive Truth or keep silent. I've still got a lot to learn here.
• The need for ALL of the Spiritual Gifts ~ In the history of the church, we have often made the mistake of overemphasizing or de-emphasizing certain gifts of the Spirit. In recent years, much teaching has gone into certain Spiritual Gifts, and much of it needed, but the unfortunate result has been an unbiblical hierarchy of gifts and an attitude that, "the church can survive without certain gifts, but not without THE gift." Scripture is clear that all the gifts are needed. The higher gifts are the gifts that receive least notice. If any gift is to be sought or held up, it is the gift of prophecy, which is often the least popular...especially viewed by those with administration and leadership gifts.
• A daily time of Reading and Reflection on God's Word is not ideal, it is VITAL for the growing believer ~ My first question of people these days who are struggling is, "are you spending time, not just reading, but listening to God's Word? Every day?" My heart, my thoughts, my effectiveness, my peace, my parenting and so much more is affected far more than I am aware by my time in His Word.
• A growing Love for People who want to know God, but aren't sure who He is ~ He is breaking my heart more and more for people who need Jesus. I am almost overwhelmed by the weight of watching people try to live life without Him. And, conversely, I am sickened by those who know the Truth who insist on pursuing anything BUT Him. I also long to be part of a movement that helps those who seek to find Him. A church that simply brings people in from other churches, or only "saves" those with previous church experience is not the answer...there must be more for what God's doing in my heart.
• He is a God of Promise ~ He promised me and my family several things 8 years ago. Some of those I have seen already and others I continue to watch and wait for His faithfulness. He has reminded me again that He always delivers on His promise to His children.
• My First People to Pastor are my Family ~ I was strongly prompted to make several commitments after our Sabbatical. The primary focus of each of these was our health and Kingdom focus. Scripture is clear on this, as a leader in the Church, my first responsibility is to keep my family healthy (which includes my own soul).

I could write several more lessons, but these are the primary ones that are still affecting my thinking on a daily basis. I so love my Savior and His graciousness to continue to transform and teach me.

Best of 2008

The Skor Family had some great moments in 2008. Here are some of my favorite memories:

• Our first trip with our new little camper to Monterey in the Spring. Ian was running a temperature. It was raining, but it's a moment we still talk about.
• Camping on the Beach at Seal Rock, Or. The boys and I got up early the next morning and braved the rain to wander on the beach with very low tide. We discovered thousands of star fish and had lots of moments of wonder.
• Taking Grammy & Grandma Virginia to Florence, Or for Thanksgiving. Through the gracious gift of a friend, we had a beautiful little beach bungalow where we celebrated Thanksgiving.
• I carried Ian through a mile of stairs and winding pathways in Wind Cave after he puked all over the ancient walls...
• Sitting on the 2nd story balcony of Old Faithful Inn eating old fashioned ice cream with Kiley's folks while we watched Old Faithful go off one more time in the sunset.
• Following a swerving Dodge Durango through the Nebraska pasture - realizing that our children were driving (under their Papa's supervision, of course).
• Floating the Niobrara River with Brendon - just father and son.
• Ian's first day of Kindergarten with Mrs. Stevenson. He was so proud that he was finally going to school!
• Hearing Brendon and Ian declare on Christmas Day (knowing that this year we intentionally spent less), "This is the best Christmas ever!"
• The hundreds, if not thousands, of snuggles, hugs, kisses and moments with my beautiful bride and my two precious boys. We have been blessed beyond imagination.

There are more, but these are the ones that have come to mind over the last few weeks.

Great Quote

Heard this quote today from John Piper:

"If America were to dissolve today it would not change God's Sovereignty."

Why I'm celebrating the Day after the Election

Although much of the election results did not go in the direction that our family would have chosen, I do believe that there are many things to celebrate about Election 2008:

• A record turnout at the polls ~ It's been many years since this many people have taken a passionate interest in our government. Any time that there is an increase in people exercising the freedom that we enjoy in this country to vote, it's a good thing.
• An African-American won the highest office in the land ~ Regardless as to whether I support (or agree with) his views or morality, I believe it's an incredible thing for us to finally state as a country that any individual, regardless of ethnicity, can be our President. After decades of, frankly, shameful treatment it is worth a major celebration. Now, though, a new "racism" is rearing it's ugly head and turning back the clock...our country was founded to provide freedom of religion, but we are rapidly trying to turn it into freedom FROM religion.
• A public discussion of values ~ One of the things I value about election times, even though they get ugly, is that these times give me an opportunity to hear and to talk about the values that individuals hold dear. It is one of the few times these days that Biblical values are allowed to be discussed in the public forum. It is also a fantastic time for me to hear what my neighbors, friends, and country values so that I know how to pray for them and to give direction to the church in the coming days so as to help those around discover the values that really matter.
• We get to experience History ~ All too often I think we take it for granted in our country as to how unique we are in world history. We are a relatively young nation who have experienced the entirety of our history in a grand experiment called democracy. Few other countries have survived the experiment. We often, even in modern history, balance on the edge of failure when it comes to democracy. I don't want to miss the realization that we are living in history-making moments akin to those grand moments we studied in our textbooks.
• We are living in Spiritually Hungry Times ~ I believe that Americans have looked around and have found too few things to satisfy their souls. I believe that now is a crucial time for the church to step out of the clouds of condescension and condemnation and to BE the church. Even though people want the government to save them, no one trusts those IN government -- what a time for the church to resume her post as the people who serve the needy, the hopeless, the lost and the hurting. What a time to talk about the things that really matter.
• Cynicism against the government reminds us that only changed hearts change culture ~ We as Christians and non-Christians have looked for far too long to our government to declare morality for our nation. This election should scream loudly a reminder that it is only in the teaching of and the trust in a personal Jesus that we find true morality. I may scream against the moral crime of abortion, but until Jesus is allowed to turn selfishness into self-sacrifice in a young mom's heart she will continue to cry for her personal choice over that of an unborn child. I can't change a heart. A law can't change a heart. God changes hearts, and Him alone. What an opportunity for the church to rise up in loving declaration and reveal the God who is in the business of changing people from the inside out.

No, every issue in the election did not go the way I would have liked it to go...but I serve a God who is still on the throne and who orchestrates the twists and turns of nations to ultimately bring glory to Him and to usher in a Kingdom the likes of which the world has never seen!

Crumpled Paper and Carving Pumpkins

This last Friday Kiley and I were picking up kids from school. We had picked up Ian and were hanging around visiting with parents while we waited for Brendon's class to let out.

Ian was playing with one of his classmates and I noticed him pull a crumpled up piece of paper out of his pocket and hand it to his friend. They talked about it excitedly for a moment and then his friend ran the paper over to his mom, with whom Kiley was visiting.

The mom opened the crumpled paper and I noticed it was an invitation to our Pumpkin Carving Sunday in a couple weeks. I cringed at the crumpled paper and was about ready to try and apologize for my son keeping it wadded up in his pocket all day, when the mom ready it and looked up at Kiley and said, "Can we come to this?" (What were going to say to that?!)

She went on to unpack her story for us. She shared with us some of her background, upbringing and religion and then said, "My husband and I have been thinking about helping our kids find some direction and we'd like to try your church. We see your church everywhere in our community and want to try it." She had some other questions about what to expect, and then committed to coming to try it out for her family.

I was convicted. We have known this family for several years and slowly built a relationship with them.

But my five-year-old son, with the bold innocence that only a child has, made a simple ask of a friend and it may very well make an eternal difference.

I'm proud of him.

It was later that his teacher (who happens to be a friend) told us how Ian was running around to everyone on the playground and inviting them. When they would turn him down, there was no discouragement, he simply went on to ask the next person.

Oh to have the faith of a child....

Kind Affirmations

I've felt the Holy Spirit stirring some fresh winds and directions in my soul for some time now. At times they've left me a little confused and, frankly, nervous about what He's doing in me and what He wants to do through our family.

In the last week He has graciously allowed me to receive some affirmations. Affirmation is always good for the soul, but they are also dangerous. I've watched far too many people receive affirmation and suddenly they are making decisions and heading in directions due to an inflated ego that they should not go. I've watched people hear someone say about them, "I think you could be ____________ someday (you fill in the blank" and then, due to that affirmation, they began to subtly offer suggestions and manipulations to worm their way to that position.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that work hard and promoting oneself is a bad thing if it's done with humility and grace. But, I think sometimes that we are too full of ourselves and not full enough of faith in a God who has a future in mind for us. I wonder how often we miss that mark when we're looking to fulfill man's prophecies instead of God's purposes.

As I've received and heard these kind words about my service on the DBMD, teaching with the Spiritual Formation Department, teaching in our local church, and some people's "hints" for what they think might be a possible future for me, for the first time in my life, I can honestly say that these kinds of statements scare me more than they encourage me. Do they make me feel good? Yes, and they should. But, I don't know what the Holy Spirit has in store for me. What I DO know is that my future is His job and not mine. 

My job is to be faithful in the here and now. 

My job is to listen for His voice and act on it.

My job is to fulfill the purposes and calling currently on my life.

My job is to guard my heart from influences apart from Him.

Who knows what He's forming in me?

Who know if the kind words people have said are true? People are fickle.

But I do know, that He is a faithful God who loves to do things with His kids that they can't ask or imagine.

A new Season

As fall begins this week, I've been reflecting on the fact that the Skor family has entered a new season of life. I think it's taken Kiley and I a few weeks for this to begin to seep into our consciousness, but we're beginning to realize that we need to make some adjustments in our thinking and family habits to fully "lean in" to this new season of life and grace for our family.

Here are some of the things that are new to us as fall begins:

• For the first time, both boys are in school all day long. This affects Kiley's schedule as well as my Fridays off of work.
• Kiley has accepted the volunteer job as vocal coach for our worship team. She's more than prepared for this, but it takes dozens of hours and energy which was poured into the family.
• We've both realized that we're no longer part of the "young" crowd anymore. Maybe we haven't been for a while and were in denial, but now, we're among those who have experienced life and people look to us as such.
• Our Pastoral staff has expanded. It takes more time and interaction each day to keep on top of everything.
• Our extended family is changing, both with age and with their seasons of life.

How do people do it?

I've thought a lot about this, this summer. How do we, as human beings, live with ourselves? :-)

We say we believe in and value something and then we ACT in direct contradiction to that fact. It's not just believing in God and then acting as if we don't...that's a pretty big thing and it confuses me every time. It's also small things. Things like, "I think that being healthy is important" and then we eat chocolate chip cookies until we're sick. Or a boss who says, "As a company, we value (you fill in the blank)" and then, when a staff member begins to act as if he/she values that, the boss expresses disappointment.

I'm thankful for a God who understands that people are trapped in sin and is quick to forgive and help. I'm not so patient with people, or even myself, for that matter...but He is.

Say what?

We had lunch at "The Club" after church this morning (aka Sam's club).

While there I noticed that, in the seasonal section, they were putting CHRISTMAS stuff out!

Now, I like Christmas more than most people, and will often listen to Christmas music throughout the year...but to have Christmas decorations out in September?!!?!

That's just ridiculous...

Normal?

I had someone ask me this week, "So...are you ready to get back to normal life?"

The question, surprisingly, caught me a little off guard. It has made me stop and think.

What IS normal?

I know, maybe it sounds silly. I don't want to get into wild theories and metaphysics, but it is a valid question I think. In so many parts of life people have accepted that ABnormal for the normal. Marriage, for example, is accepted to have the "goal of permanency" but with an escape clause called divorce that's not fun, but OK for anyone to use if you aren't "compatible." Obviously, that's not God's definition of normalcy. Sexuality has certain "normal" patterns in culture, but God's pattern is entirely different. I could go on, but the point is that there are many places in which the world around us has conformed to a pattern that is not of God and has called it normal. In many cases, followers of Christ have put on the brakes and said, "Whoa...that's NOT normal. Don't conform to that pattern." But not in all cases have we done so...

And so it begs the question when it comes to patterns of work, play, family, priority, etc. "What is normal?"

Industrial society has set up patterns that have changed the application of the Christian work ethic. The hours, demands, and normal patterns for work in modern industrial society in the name of a good work ethic, have, in many cases, created a pattern that in pre-industry were only seen in three areas: slavery, conscripted military and brothels.

Daniel Spaite, in his book Time Bomb in the Church talks about the patterns that we have come to accept as normal and their effects on our bodies. He says that there are chemicals which are released when we experience certain events and circumstances to help our bodies handle the moment well. The problem comes in when the pattern of our life moves us from one of these events to another for an extended period of time. Our bodies begin to accept the presence of these chemicals as normal, when they should be abnormal. I understand this a little experientially right now. Like coming off of an extended fast, my body is moving back into the patterns of daily life, and it's reintroducing some of those chemicals it needs to adjust to these patterns.

I have a ton of questions about this subject. I'm far from proclaiming that "I have discovered the pattern for normal." What I do know, is that many of the patterns we have conformed to as normal are not, but what patterns ARE normal and how do we put ourselves in a place where we can be transformed to them?

What God has Taught me

I've had several ask me what God has taught me over the course of our sabbatical. I'm not prepared to share it all, as I'm still trying to learn it, I'll tell you if I have six months from now. Three things, though, come to mind as being significant lessons for me:

1. Rest ~ God made the Sabbath for man, not man for the Sabbath. He created Sabbath patterns and seasons. These were not designed to be super spiritual learning times, but times of rest. Don't overspiritualize these times, but don't miss their vital importance FOR our spiritual well-being. When the Sabbath was instituted, man's daily life was filled with the chores of life. Now, we seem to save all of the "non-work" (personal) related chores for our day off and so we never do rest.
2. God's Ministers/Pastors SHOULD be the most healthy people on the planet and yet they are among the most UNhealthy. We have God's Truth. We have God's pattern for life. And yet, somehow we think that we can be disobedient and live "above" this because we are called to be ministers. This isn't just physical health, but emotional, relational, patterns of work, drivenness, etc.
3. I am PART of God's plan (and that's vital) I am not ALL of God's plan ~ God often works in generations to accomplish His work. I so often get trapped into thinking that He's going to accomplish it all in my lifetime. This doesn't mean that I don't work hard, but it does mean that the "production" is up to Him and His timing and not me.
   

Headed to the Office

I'm headed back into the office for the first time in over seven weeks this morning. some have asked if I'm ready for it. The short answer is "no" ;-). Others have asked if I'm despressed that our time is over. The answer to that is no as well. The only experience that lasts forever will be when we finally are home with our Heavenly Father.

Until that time I am reminded of C.S. Lewis' teaching on how so often we overindulge ourselves with a good thing. I don't have the exact quote in front of me, but, bottom line, he says, "There comes a point when even a good thing, the best of things, becomes a not so good thing. The flavor begins to fade due to familiarity. The joy is not as much. God made us, in this life, to experience life with limits, but in heaven...there will be no end to increasing joy."