Camping with Boys

I've questioned God several times over the last several weeks as to why he set the chromosones for "boy" instead of "girl" for both of our children. I've also been extremely grateful, hilariously so, that he set them to "boy".

Camping with boys has been a memorable experience for me. I've often been envious of Kiley setting off to the shower or restroom alone. Every time I head for the shower, it seems, it's with an armload of paraphernalia, and two boys in tow. It's been an experience trying to wrestle two naked boys into campground showers, get them cleaned up, dry, and dressed again while they insisted on wrestling, bickering, whining, getting soap in their eyes and so forth. (By the way, I didn't know feet could get THAT dirty!!!! I needed a putty knife some nights just to clean the dirt off!) I look forward to not having to share the showering experience with my boys for a while. :-)

That being said, there have been some great and laughable moments. (Sorry if the following offends anyone, but it's the reality of having boys, and I have to share it because it makes me laugh, so just skip to the next paragraph if the first sentence bothers you.) Brendon and I decided to teach Ian the joy of being "a man" and pee standing up during this trip. Brendon is much more graphic in his teaching for Ian, which caused me to bite my tongue in many a bathroom to keep from doubling over in laughter. One of the more printable teaching moments from Brendon went something like this, "No Ian, hmph, you don't take your pants all the way down! You have a zipper and a hole in the front of your underwear. It's there so that you can go to the bathroom without showing off you bum. Now...grab a hold of your private part (his real words) and hold tight to aim. Aim up so you don't get your shoes. Make sure you don't drip on the front of your pants because that's real embarrasing, trust me, I've done it....there you go." Suddenly, whether a bathroom had urinals that went all the way to the floor or were up off the ground became part of Ian's rating system for acceptability (his other one was how it smells -- see previous posts)...when we find one that has them to the floor, it's cause for a little "man party" among us guys. I'm not looking forward to the mess I've just caused us for cleaning back home now...

Today was a good, grunting, guy moment for us boys as we walked through the Redwoods. The boys spotted a hole near the bottom of a Redwood stump. After some investigation, we discovered that it led to the center of the stump (this stump was at least 20 feet high) and the stump was hollow. Without much hesitation, we got down on our bellies (this was not a big hole...I had to squeeze, which caused some minor clausterphobic moments for me) and squirmed through the hole to the center of the stump. All of us fit inside this stump with lots of room to spare and could see straight up through the top a long way above. We were pretty proud of ourselves, but Kiley was looking at our dirt covered clothes, faces, and arms as we wriggled our way out...it was a great guy bonding moment. (insert grunt here)